I have always thought that getting married is simple: You meet someone, you like him, you fall in love, you date for a period of time, he asks you to marry him and you live happily ever after.
But after watching this video, I learned that my process was not exactly how things work nowadays.
My friend, Bernice, made me realize that this year. She is In her late 20’s and is dating this guy, Sam, for almost six years now. Although they get along well and they seem happy, Bernice started to doubt the relationship because Sam has never mentioned even once that he intends to marry her someday.
Now, this normally shouldn’t be something one has to be alarmed about if you are not the marrying type, but Bernice is and she feels that she might be wasting her love and time… biological clock time, I mean.
There are many reasons why a guy hasn’t popped the question yet but according to surveys, the main reasons are one, he hasn’t found the right woman and two, he isn’t ready to commit.
If you’re under the first category, maybe it’s about time you consider looking for a new guy – but if you’re under the second, then there’s a chance you might get things to go from merry to marry!
So for girls like Bernice who are so nerve-wracked on the question how to get a man to marry you, here are some tips that can be helpful to get him to tie the knot:
1. From Time to Time, Open The Topic
If you are in a long relationship with your guy, then it won’t hurt if you occasionally open the topic of marriage. By doing such, you gradually let him get used to the idea – and you are giving him a hint that you someday want to be married and that hopefully, it’s with him.
Just the simple, “My friend just got engaged today, I think it is great news! How about you?” you get to know what his views are. If he says that he is happy for people who get married, then you can breathe. But if he says otherwise, then maybe it is time to find yourself a new prospective groom.
2. Get Along Well With His Family
When my aunt got engaged, she told me that she never had to manipulate her fiancé into it because his family did it for her. That’s the thing when his family likes you – they tend to make him realize that you are “it” for him.
Though they did not start off well, my aunt nonetheless won the hearts of the guy’s family by going to the parties she was invited to, cooking and baking for them, showing good manners, etc. She made it a point to make it her mission to make them love her – and she achieved it.
Next thing she knew, they were all rooting for them to get married. So if you want to have effective allies in your plans to get married to your man, better start be-friending his family members!
3. Be The Perfect Wife Material
Of course this is an exaggeration as there is nobody “perfect” but what I meant was be the wife material that your boyfriend is looking for. It is not enough that you have succeeded as the perfect girlfriend – it is now time to level up.
In subtle ways, show him your domestic side: cooking scrumptious meals, keeping your place clean and homey, making sure he is comfortable whenever he’s around you, be supportive in all aspects.
By showing him that you will be a great wife, he will start thinking that you are for keeps – and what better way to keep a woman forever than to marry her?
If you have no idea what he looks for in a wife, just get to know his mother well. Most men look for the traits of their mother in their prospects. But make sure first that your man actually likes his mother – some don’t.
4. Hang Out With Married Friends
Back to Bernice: One of the reasons why she probably isn’t asked to be married is because Sam isn’t surrounded by married people. He is still living the comfy life of a bachelor: party here, party there and Bernice couldn’t blame him, she met him that way.
While it is okay to hang out with single friends, it is actually preferred to be with married ones when you’re considering marriage. By doing this, you get the idea of what it is like to be married, to know the joys and the lows.
Be sure to tag along your guy when doing this so he can sense what a bliss marriage could be and what more if it’s with you. Go to your married friends’ houses, see their beautiful children, and get envious with what they have.
(Be sure not to turn the table around, be envious of their marriage and not let the married couple be envious of your singlehood!) Make it a habit to have the “what if we also have that…” to make him get the idea that you are considering a married life.
5. If It Is Financial Issues, Then Understand
Some guys do not ask “the” question because although they are emotionally ready, their bank accounts and wallets are not. If this is the case, then you are left with no choice but to understand – but if you can help him with the expenses, the better.
Times today no longer expect a guy to cover all the wedding expenses so it is already acceptable to contribute. This is, after all, the wedding for both of you and not just yours so teamwork is already normal.
6. If All Else Fails, Propose
If you have done everything there is to hint your intentions to get married and he still hasn’t got a clue, then maybe it’s about time you take matters in your own hands: Propose!
This could work, provided of course, that you are comfortable with it. This has been done before and even resulted to good marriages so it is not something to be ashamed about. You love the guy and want to settle with him for good – there’s nothing wrong with that.
But it always pays to be cautious. Every invitation has a 50-50 chance of rejection and things aren’t any different with marriage proposals. Be ready with whatever he may answer. As they say, expect the worst but hope for the best.
At the end of the day, some things stay the same: Marriage is hard work and actually reaching it is equal hard work. So precisely how do you get a man to marry you? Simple. Make yourself the one he wants to marry!
by Nancy Herman